Ok, so I've terrible news for the masses. An old friend of mine's (we've since not really spoken to one another...except to bear bad news) younger brother died. My heart goes out to her, and I want her to know that I am here if she ever needs me, that I always have been and always will be. Also, Sara (one of Jeannette's dogs) was killed by one of the other dogs (which I'm sure you by now know...since you probably know Meghann and all that what not...). My heart also goes out to the members of the Sanderson, Shoulders&Shoulders residence.

Today CPS had a kamikaze show at RHS...I wish I had been there for it...my mother and I were having creative differences...("She saw herself as alive...I saw her as dead!"...Thanks, Meghann...)basically she didn't want me to go. Her first remark was "Who has a show at SEVEN FIFTEEN A.M.?!" to which I replied, "CPS, mom." followed then by "WHO PLAYS A SHOW FOR ONLY FIFTEEN MINTUES?!" "CPS, ma."

She stood firm and refused to let me go...she DID have to be at work at 8:00 a.m., but in all fairness, they got shut down like 45 seconds into the set.

Seriously.

Go watch the video that Ryan made at Clarksvegas. It's like a very poor version of cops.

Very poor. Ryan doesn't have a future in camera operation, I think.

Then Meg and I went to Convergy's and applied...got interviews for Monday at 9 a.m....we're excited.

Then we went to Wal-Mart to get my oil changed and we were ridiculously retarded. We were so tired...and retarded.

Then we went to the house, ate spaghetti, mourned Sara's death, and discussed Meghann's donkey-like reflexes.

DONKEY-LIKE REFLEXES!

I laughed so hard...I cannot even put into words how hard I fucking laughed. Later, when Jeannette and I were visiting Petfinder Ryan walked out of his room in his underwears AGAIN...looked at me...then looked at Jeannette and said "A little WARNING please!" because Jeannette HAD been in his room like 2 minutes prior to his exit...but I don't know how he didn't hear me laughing uproariously at the "donkey-like relfexes." He's silly.

Jeannette gave me free Chai, I came home and drank it, then I went to bed.

Ok, let me get on my soapbox...briefly.

David, you are being absolutely ridiculous. I cannot even put into words how much you have changed...how different you are. If you're happy with the person you've become, then fine, I am happy for you, but I refuse to lie to you and pretend that I like that person. You KNOW I gave Emily that password...I don't even know why you bothered to call me and ask me, but it wasn't so far from the truth when I told you that I wouldn't give it to her because of all the horrible things you write about her. Had I KNOWN it was going to be like that...had I known you were capeable of that kind of cruelty, I wouldn't have sent it to her. You say that if whoever gave Emily the password can't respect the fact that you didn't want her to read your diary, then they shouldn't expect to have this friendship last much longer...if you don't stop being a jerk, if I were you I wouldn't expect many of your relationships back home to last much longer.

David I love you with every fiber of my soul...you are one of the most amazing people I have ever met...my best friend. I adore you, I have so much hope for you and I am so proud of you. But this person that you have become...I hate him. I can't see where the two of you merge...I can see how these two pieces fit.

So go to the gym, run for 3 hours...don't eat, don't sleep...throw fits and destroy all of our old photographs...do whatever it is that makes you "feel better." But don't come crying to me when someone up there fucks you over.

/end entry

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