So yea, I did dram friday night...and it was fantastic. I cannot remember most of the night....just bits and pieces. I was talking to this kid Chris (taco) on the phone...and he said that he talked to me that night.

Guys. The first time I remember even seeing him was Saturday afternoon. And I didn't talk to him then...but he swore on the phone earlier that he sat down and talked to me friday night...well...tried to, anyway. I was apparently really gone. I wasn't paying attention to anything. It was crazy...but looking back...it was fun. It was so different.

Meg said that after you do dram...everything is different. It's like you see things differently...like waking up maybe. She said when she did it, she realized that there were bad people in her life and she got away from them.

And she's right. I mean...I don't see any bad people...but I see a goal...something I want, and it's so clear, it makes so much sense. And I see it and I want it. I want it. I can almost taste it. It seems almost unattaiable...but I know it's there. I know it's possible. If I could just drive myself.

It's kinda like I woke up. Hopefully I'll stop fucking around constantly and make something of myself.

I just get tired of thinking that I won't be anything.

Today Gabe reasked me if we were gonna get an apartment after he graduates. I told him yes, because there is no way in HELL that I could surivive in Memphis. When I went with Meg to pick up Elise...well...refer back to two entries ago. You'll see. I can't handle so many people. It's too much. Clarksville is safe. I'll be ok here.

So yea...me and Gabe...we're gonna own this town one day, just watch.

How do I know? The dram told me.

before~after