Soooo, the other night (Tuesday night/Wednesday morning) Patty and I piled into her Cavalier and joined the masses for the opening of the new Lord of the Rings movie. Suiter and Emily met us there and we were in line and we were all catching up and being lovey and it was great.

And that movie was the greatest fucking movie I've ever seen in my life. I cried like 37 times. It was so good, we (Samantha, Maggie, Phillip and me) wanted to go see it tonight, but then my mom got all retarded so we didn't.

Last night we went reindeer humping, and it was silly...we started off with a whole bunch of people, but it trickled down to Me, Meghann and Chad...and then Chad fell asleep, so they did maybe like 3 houses...hehe...we were all tired.

Last night, my mom sat me down and told me that she was not paying for me to go to college next semester, since I "blew off" my exams. I told her that it wouldn't have mattered had I gone to them all...I only went to the one that I would pass. The others I wouldn't have passed no matter what. She told me that she had already talked to my dad and my grandma about it...I am afraid that when my dad gets home they will send me to Texas to live with my grandma. I mean, I like my grandma and everything, but she will make me her prisoner. She doesn't play with this school shit, and I do not want to fucking go to Brazosport Community College in Texas. Fuck that. I can barely make friends here, what the fuck would I do down there?

I dunno, I have really mixed emotions about her telling me that she's not gonna pay for it. I admit I am relieved, I hate school and I hate going. I think its so stupid and boring and a waste of my time. But I am worried that they've given up on me. There is so much pressure on people to do amazing at everything...I hate it.

My mom said she will have my car fixed and that I will get a job and pay her back for the semester. Everything she said was stuff that I had already said, it pissed me off. Further proves that she never fucking listens.

I feel sad now. I will go.

before~after