An era has ended.

The golden age of our youth has come to a screeching halt. Maybe it was more sublte, and I just failed to notice...maybe I noticed all along and refused to believe. Whatever the reason, it's here and there is no denying it.

I was having a conversation with a friend last night and I said "It's like you've hit a wall and theres nowhere else you can go here." and she said "exactly ... and the worst part is that it seems like others have hit the wall but are perfectly content leaning up against it for the rest of eternity."

And she's right...some people aren't going anywhere, and they're perfectly content. I wish I could be happy with nothing. I wish I could be happy here. I wish I didn't feel like there was a wall in front of me.

I realized that David, Sara, Emily, and I will never go sledding on snow days, we'll never go out to eat, we'll never laugh hysterically together at things that only we think are funny. Emily and I won't make a pact to come to school every day, and we won't be able to inspire one another to do our best.

I just realized that I will never ride with David in my car...or his....we'll never have movie nights and unofficial dates...we will never sing again.

I will never sing again, not the way I sang before.

Song of the Day

Splintered piece of glass falls in the seat gets caught
These broken windows, open locks, reminders of the youth we lost
In trying so hard to look away from you
we followed white lines to the sunset
I crash my car everyday the same way

Time to let this pass
(the time it takes, the time it takes to let go)
Time runs through our veins
(it starts and stops and starts and stops again)
We don't stand a chance in this threadbare time
(the time it takes, the time it takes to let go)
Time to let this pass
(the time it takes, the time it takes to let go)

Staring at the setting sun
No reason to come back again
The twilight world in blue and white
The needle and the damage done

I don't want to feel this way forever
A dead letter marked return to sender

The broken watch you gave me turns into a compass
It's hands still point to the same time 12:03, our last goodbye

So push the seats back a little further
I can see the headlights coming
So push the seats back a little further
Roll the windows down and take a breath
I can see the headlights coming
They paint the world in red and broken glass

Time to let this pass
(the time it takes, the time it takes to let go)
Time runs through our veins.
(it starts and stops and starts and stops again)
We don't stand a chance in this threadbare time
(the time it takes, the time it takes to let go)
Time to let this pass
(the time it takes, the time it takes to let go)

Staring at the setting sun
No reason to come back again
The twilight world in blue and white
The needle and the damage done

I don't want to feel this way forever
A dead letter marked return to sender

The spinning hubcaps set the tempo for
the music of a broken window
the cameras on and the cameras click
we open up the lens and can't stop

Staring at the setting sun
No reason to come back again
The twilight world in blue and white
The needle and the damage done

I don't want to feel this way forever
the lights are on and the cameras click
we open up the lens to broken glass

Staring at the setting sun
No reason to come back again
The twilight world in blue and white
The needle and the damage done

I don't want to feel this way for ever
a dead letter marked return to sender

(I'll never understand
Understanding in a car crash)

-"Understanding in a Car Crash" Thursday

before~after